Posts Tagged ‘chainmail’
Zombie Armor: A Guide
How badass would it be to ride your Ducati down the post-apocalyptic streets dressed in black Storm Trooper armor? Kurt Russell as Snake Pliskin badass. And that’s no joke.
Or if you’re more of a Bruce Wayne kind-of-guy, UD Replicas also makes this:
I like the high neck protection on this suit. Once you have a helmet, there’s not a square inch of exposed skin for a zombie to get their diseased teeth sunk into.
Which brings us back to the topic of zombie armor, what’s my opinion?
General rule-of-thumb, in my opinion, is if you’re not wearing armor, you shouldn’t go hand-to-hand with zombies unless there is nowhere to run. All it takes is one mistake, one unlucky swing, and you’re bit. I’d like to think I’d maintain a 10-ft rule when guns come into play. If they’re under 10-ft away, switch to hand weapons if you’re wearing protection…or run. Running is always a good strategy.
So now, what’s necessary? What’s overkill? What’s over-exposed?
Let’s cover overkill first, because–let’s face it–people love to go overboard. Here’s a good example of overkill when dressing for the apocalypse:
I’m not saying that you couldn’t get your hands on a set of full plate mail, but if the zombies rise, you have to remember that they’re going to come for you armed with teeth–not swords, maces, and war hammers. You have to have a good range of both motion and sight, and you need something you can wear around without getting fatigued after ten minutes.
On the flip side, t-shirt and cargo shorts are not acceptable for zombie combat. Looking stylish can get you bitten. In this battle, underkill is not cool:
So bikini chainmail is out (how sad!) and full plate is out, but there are other options for full coverage similar to the motorcycle leathers shown above. One is tactical riot gear, which you can purchase, oddly enough, right off Amazon.com.
If you’re just as concerned with the other assholes running around after doomsday hits, then you can slap on a bulletproof vest over any of these and feel a little bit safer. Against strictly the undead, another, more expensive and heavier option with proven effectiveness would be a shark suit. Neptunic makes several types of full and partial armor in steel and titanium, as well as custom-to-order suits. I’d feel pretty safe (not to mention super sexy) walking around in this:
For those of us on a budget, and who don’t have full-blown zombie paranoid fantasies (yet), there are some simple cost-effective options. Go with hand and arm protection, something to cover your neck, leather boots, and thick protective pants–preferably all leather and/or kevlar. If you watch the Walking Dead, you’ll see half the time the zombies go right for the neck, which is a critical soft spot, be sure to protect it!
Here’s a few of the things on my Zombie Apocalyse wish list for personal defense:
And no matter what happens, just remember that no amount of armor can help you if you get dog-piled by a horde of zombies. Make sure you’re mobile enough to outrun the masses and always–ALWAYS–carry a weapon!
Just for fun you could also use this helpful suggestion from the folks over at Mythbusters, who proved 100% that spray-on truck bed liner is bite-proof. Who knew?!
Good hunting Zombie Killers!