February 12th, 2013 | 
Author: Love Bites Blog Hop: Been There
My lovely and talented friends, collectively known in this case as the Inklingettes: Ruth Long, Sarah Nicholson, Lisa Shambrook, Elisabeth Koch, Angela Kennard, Afsaneh Khetrapal and Laura James, are running a great flash fiction contest for the love-hating curmudgeonly anti-slush crowd. Love bites. Amen to that. 250 words of love gone astray. Just in time for Valentine’s day.
Enjoy…
BEEN THERE
by J. Whitworth Hazzard
Aaron was so nervous he felt like he was going to yak before he could get the words out. Melody’s hair flowed like golden rivers of satin in the summer sun and her coy smile turned his insides to jelly. She held his hand and laughed at the antics of the children on the playground, oblivious to the terror Aaron felt that she might say no.
“I love you.”
Melody blushed furiously and turned, trying to hide her ear-to-ear smile. Aaron’s spirit soared with hope.
“Will you marry me?”
Melody pulled her hand out of his. She looked unpleasantly shocked.
“How can you ask me that, Aaron?” Melody’s smile, the light that gave him the courage to get through breakfast and face the tortuous grind of his miserable existance, was gone. “I can’t. We… can’t.”
“It hasn’t been very long, but I know how I feel. I’ll die without you.” Aaron’s heart poured out on the asphalt between them. What he intended as sweet nothings turned to sour expressions on his love’s face.
“Um… ok, first of all that’s just creepy. And second of all, my father will kill you.”
BBBRRRZZZZZZZZZZ.
“I don’t… there’s got to be… but I love you. Don’t you love me?” Aaron’s eyes brimmed with tears.
Melody took a step back and opened her mouth to answer but nothing came out. She turned and ran.
BBBBRRRZZZZZZZZ.
Aaron stood alone on the playground. Crushed. And tardy when the last echo of the recess bell faded.
250 words
@zombiemechanics
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Tags: 15 Responses to “Love Bites Blog Hop: Been There”
Unrequited love! Nothing worse – no matter what age! Nicely written, love the ‘yak’ and the ‘insides to jelly’.
Crushing is definitely the word! Oh, those early days of love, when holding hands in the playground is simply enough, poor Aaron!
Oh dear! Been there, done that … same response. Beautifully written xx
Isn’t that how things go. And how we learn to never ask. And never say those words. Such a real story. Like it.
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Awwww! Poor thing!
I just want to give him a cookie and a hug.
So good, my friend. So very, very good!
I’m with Ang – I want to give him a cookie too – although it is a bit creepy proposing at such an early stage of their relationship!
Agree with the others, this is really good, you’ve captured the emotions and brings back not so happy memories of my playground life.
Thanks for all the great comments guys! So much fun to write and recall those playground crushes through a new lens.
Oh, his little heart poured out on the asphalt! Oh, the heartbreak of those grammar school days!! Wonderfully written!
Poor guy! And it makes me wonder about her father and why he’d kill him (wondering if there is something more sinister to it).
Oh so sweet and sad. Nothing compares to the pain of ones first love crushed underheel.
Awww, the poor little thing. First love not only crushed but pulverised . . . and at that age it’s your world. . .I know. . .working in a primary school is bad enough . . . brilliant story writing and very true. xx
Love the mellifluous description of his true love. Poor boy I do feel for him.
Poor kid!
Loved this flash.
Nicely done…. you hid the twist well.